Regardless of your age, you will be able to find friendly ladies who are open to meeting someone new and going out with a courteous gentleman. There are some specifics, however, which you absolutely need to know to ensure success.

1. Men are required to initiate.

Ukraine is one of the countries where guys are still required to initiate. In other words, it’s up to you to approach the lady and ask her out. Good girls are highly unlikely to start chatting to you first, since it’s believed that a lady should be modest.
(And if you are sure this is not true, skip to tip #20 — it will explain your confusion.)

2. Don’t underestimate.

Kyiv ladies are savvy. Since June 2017 Ukrainians are able to travel to the countries of the European Union without a visa, and with cheap prices for tickets local females explore their options. The ladies you meet probably go on a vacation overseas 2-3 times a year. They love and know high fashion brands and follow latest trends. They read a lot and have broad general knowledge.

They may appear pretty easygoing but they are actually quite smart. Their life isn’t easy and they have to manipulate a lot in order to survive. Things may not be always what they seem.

Don’t underestimate Kyiv girls: They are not only pretty but also intelligent and smart.

3. If you want to succeed in dating Kyiv’s ladies, talk about ‘creating a family’.

A good Ukrainian lady is required to dream about getting married and having kids. Even if a woman is unsure this is what she wants any time soon, she is only interested in men who indicate to her that they consider her worthy of being his future wife, in other words, ‘having serious intentions’. If a guy doesn’t proclaim his ‘serious intentions’, a good lady isn’t supposed to even go out with him. A good lady is supposed to only wish to be with a man who ‘wants to create a family‘ with her.

If you are used to western females who are freaking out if a man sounds too intense, Ukrainian girls, vice versa, freak out on guys who sound too casual.
While the western countries are going through casualization of dating, Ukraine is going through the stage of it needing to be a serious affair or nothing — especially from the position of ladies. Not that they are not enjoying dating and casual sex. But socially, they need to justify it by seeing an encounter as the chance of ‘something serious’. Remember, they are obliged to dream to get married a.s.a.p., even if it’s not the case. Otherwise, she is a ‘bad’ woman, in the society’s eyes.

I know, it may sound like a hard piece of advice to digest, but just let me tell you this: Local pick-up artists are telling women on the first date that they want kids and family and then the girls, just like they are hypnotized, give these men anything they want.

And even if the guy dumps her a few days later and goes after another hot young thing, these girls cry their eyes out and keep dreaming about him, because ‘he was talking about creating a family’. It may sound crazy but that’s the way things work in Kyiv. Talking about wanting to settle down, desiring family and kids will make you appear extremely attractive as a dating prospect for Kyiv ladies.

If you add that you always dreamed to marry a Ukrainian, then you won’t have a problem with her answering your messages and calls. That’s your secret lifehack for dating in Kyiv.

To feel comfortable in dating you, the lady needs to feel you have serious intentions towards her and not just seeking a casual hook up.

4. Pay the bill.

It’s still the man’s responsibility to pay the bill in a restaurant when a couple is out on a date in Kyiv. Guys get a payback because it’s females who are required to clean, cook, do washing, ironing, and shopping later in the relationship, so it’s only the “period of flowers and candies”, i.e. the initial courtship stage, when the man is paying the bills while trying to woo the lady. And it’s not long, just a few dates, and then he can be lazy as hack and she will be doing everything. This is why Ukrainian guys don’t mind.

Girls aren’t going to let go this initial lovely stage they enjoy so much, since later in the relationship they do all the work and don’t get much appreciation. It’s their short time of enjoying the man’s attention during the early dating stage and his paying the bills for entertainment.

Don’t ever ask for a split check when dating in Kyiv (unless you wish to use it as a sure-fire method for getting rid of the girl). Ukraine is ridiculously cheap; just pay the bill and don’t worry.

In Ukraine, men are required to pay the bill when dating — or you’ll never see this woman again.

5. Flowers solve anything.

Ukrainian men created for themselves this ‘get free out of jail’ card that solves virtually anything: Giving women flowers.
She is expecting a bunch of pretty blossoms on the first date for sure, and then she will be absolutely ecstatic when you give her some plants with bright petals from time to time. A guy who gives flowers cannot be a bad man by definition.

If you’ve screwed up, it requires a large bouquet of flowers and you are likely to be forgiven.

This is the training that Ukrainian girls get and Kyiv residents are not immune to it. You’ll notice an unusual high number of flower kiosks everywhere in Kyiv; that’s because the product is in high demand. It’s a relationship currency. Ukrainian females are trained to feel loved when a guy gives flowers; it gives them validation.

In Ukrainian dating culture, flowers solve anything.

6. If she is over 21 and unmarried, she feels too old.

A Kyiv lady without a boyfriend feels like she is naked on the street. Inability to attract and keep a man makes a woman look defective in the eyes of the society.

You need to keep it in mind when dating in Kyiv. If she is over 27 and unmarried or divorced, her worth as a datable prospect is close to zero by the local standards. By the age of 30, she is viewed as ‘damaged goods’.

This makes all Ukrainian females from young to old rather desperate to catch and keep a guy — but only if she considers him ‘worthy’. Your being a foreigner makes you instantly ‘worthy’, since foreigners, especially westerners, are still seen in Ukraine as ‘rich’, and it’s pointless to explain to anyone that you are not wealthy and just a regular guy.

You are probably making more in a month than an average Ukrainian is making in a year. Last year, an employee in Kyiv earned on average 11,135 hryvnia (USD $394) per month — and females earn about 35% less than males. So, her wage is unlikely to be over $300 a month. Of course, in her eyes, any westerner is ‘rich’! She probably hasn’t held in her hands that amount of money that you get per month, in her entire life. Keep it in perspective.

Yes, of course, the cost of living in your country is much higher, but so are the living standards. Ukrainians live in very small apartments and mostly use public transportation. Females rarely own cars. If she owns a car, she is well off by Kyiv’s standards.

But regardless of her academic and career achievements, they mean nothing for her place in the social hierarchy, if she is not married or in a serious relationship with a ‘worthy’ man. Single females are given zero social status in Ukraine. It’s like a person who is unemployed and has no source of income in the USA is unlikely to be seen as someone important or interesting. The same attitude is towards females in Ukraine in general; Kyiv is slightly more cosmopolitan, but not to the extent that a single girl doesn’t feel defective — she still does.

So, all single females are constantly ‘in an active search’ or ‘on a prowl’ as you may say.

This is why a guy who gives her a chance of a potential change of social status to respectable (preferably married or at least seriously involved) is going to be seen favorable. But not unless you indicate that your intentions are ‘serious’, i.e. you consider her as a marriage material.

Otherwise, your intentions towards her could be only dishonorable, which means you just want to have sex with her and have no intentions to marry her. Any relationship, short-term or long-term, unless you intend to marry her, is viewed by girls as your ‘using’ her.

If you think this dating culture is screwed up and outdated, you are right. Kyiv girls of today behave like females used to act in 1970s in America. At the same time, girls of 1970s in Kyiv used to behave similar to today’s American ladies; that was the time of the Soviet Union where females were given full equality and required to work just as much as men.
Because of that forced equality in the USSR, once the Soviet Union collapsed, the dating culture of Kyiv and Ukraine bounced in the opposite direction and females were given ladylike privileges they didn’t have for generations before. Suddenly men were required to give women flowers, open doors, move chairs, and pay bills (people simply didn’t have enough money to go out in the USSR and young couples used to marry within 1-2 months after they met).

I apologize for such a long introduction, but it’s necessary to explain the current Kyiv’s dating customs and culture, and why it’s not ‘behind times’ as you could think — quite the opposite, it was so ‘ahead of times’ during the period of the USSR, it missed the natural progression towards responsible adulthood, which is where it’s slowly moving now.

This is also why men in Kyiv are required to be these masculine creatures and treat women as dainty ladies who can do nothing for themselves. And this brings us to the next tip.

A single Ukrainian female who is 27 feels like she is too old and her dating options are about to expire.

7. Treat her as a dainty lady.

Imagine an older lady who is 85 or someone at her 9th’s month of pregnancy, this is the type of treatment you should be given your prospective dates.

Open doors, move chairs, give her your hand to hold onto when you walk in the street or exit a bus or taxi. Think how you would ensure the heavily pregnant lady isn’t going to hurt herself or the baby, this is how much you need to fuss over your date, if you want to be an attentive gentleman, she expects you to be.

If American females would think you are sexist for opening doors for them, since they are fully capable of doing it themselves, Kyiv girls will think you are rude and inattentive if you don’t do it.

Because you are trying to court her, it’s your responsibility to be ‘the knight in shining armour’ and try not to allow her to move a finger. If you literally grab her in your arms and carry, she will think you are a hero.

• Definitely carry any bags, except her handbag, shopping, groceries, etc.
• Never leave her behind.
• Offer your arm to hold onto when walking.
• Open doors.
• Offer your hand when exiting public transport (bus, tram, funicular) or taxi.
• See her off to her door after the date (and don’t ask to be invited in, the reason is explained below).

Kissing a lady’s hand is considered a gesture of a true gentleman, while going for a kiss on the cheek may see you labelled ‘desperate’ by Ukrainian females. More about it below.

8. Dress up.

Kyiv ladies love a well-dressed man. In fact, females of any nation love a well-dressed man, it never hurts to look presentable. But Kyiv ladies are particularly snobby about it. Dressing in long pants and a collared shirt, laced-up shoes on a thin sole for your first date, will cement your status as a worthy dating prospect.

Some guys complain about this tip and say they feel it’s like ‘buying’ women’s attention.

If this is ‘buying’ women’s attention, so is anything else: Being smart and funny, smiling, giving her compliments, paying the bill, opening doors, and so on.

Then she is also ‘buying’ your attention when going to a salon to do her hair and nails, buying nice outfits and perfume, doing her makeup. She could just crawl out of bed and go on a date with you without brushing her hair or teeth, or taking a shower. That’s exactly how you look when you refuse to dress up when dating in Ukraine. If you were going to a wedding or a job interview, would you dress up? What’s the difference? It’s just a ritual.

In short: If you don’t want to be successful in dating Kyiv ladies, don’t dress up. But if you want to be successful in relationships with women in Ukraine, then put on pants and a shirt and maybe a collared jacket if it’s a cooler time of the year. Get a haircut in a salon and wear good quality socks: Girls look at absolutely everything and I’ve been told by a young Ukrainian female that she refused a guy because he was wearing wrong socks. For them it’s like missing a front tooth or having a bad body odor.

By the way, about odors: Wear an antiperspirant and take showers twice daily (3 times if needed). Use a nice perfume. Females in Kyiv love a man who smells nice.

If you don’t normally follow fashion trends, then it will greatly help to buy new clothes for your dating in Kyiv. It’s easier to buy clothes at your home country as compared to Ukraine and it could be possibly cheaper. Go to a young fashion section in a department store or a shop like Zara where you can buy the latest styles cheap. Ask a male shop assistant to help you pick clothes.

You need 1-2 pairs of pants, 1 pair of jeans, 2-3 collared shirts, laced-up shoes, 1-2 jackets, 5-10 pairs of socks and underwear. If you are on a really tight budget, buy just one new complete outfit. You can replace collared shirts with a T-shirt and wear the same jacket for subsequent dates. Your old shirts and jackets that’s been hanging in your closet for years probably won’t work and likely to be poorly fitted. Some ladies who married Americans complained their husbands wear shirts that are 2 sizes too big, which looks wrong for fashion-conscious Europeans.

Buy the clothes you feel comfortable with, but follow the shop assistant’s advice as much as you can. He will be able to find outfits that look great on you and are on trend.

This will make dating women in Kyiv tons easier, as clothes make the man in the eyes of local ladies. You may think it’s shallow; they also think it’s shallow for men to like long hair, perky breasts and slim bodies, but you just cannot help it. They can’t help it either, in the same way, to feel attracted to a well-dressed man.

If you want her to want you physically, she needs to feel attracted to you. So, just dress up and be done with that part.

Want to have an easy time dating in Kyiv? Dress smartly, get a salon haircut, use a nice fragrance — she needs it to feel attracted to you!

9. Don’t go for a greeting or parting kiss or hug.

There is no habit of friendly kisses between men and women in Kyiv — not when you meet, neither when you part. Any kiss is considered intimate and unless she is sure you are ‘serious’ about her, no intimacy whatsoever can exist at all.

Many females from Ukraine told me how shocked they were when men tried to kiss them when they met for a dinner or at the end of the first date.

For ladies from Kyiv a kiss is a highly intimate gesture, as well as a hug or even holding hands.

She will allow you to kiss her hand as a polite gesture when meeting or parting (comes from the old days when women didn’t shake hands with men; guys kissed women’s fingers instead), but she won’t be comfortable with a kiss on the cheek and definitely not on the lips.

So, yes, you are expected to behave like a gentleman, open doors, move chairs, pay the bill — and you cannot even get a kiss!

But don’t worry, when a female from Ukraine allows you to kiss her, she is basically ready to go the whole way.

Because Ukrainian girls believe that once a man started kissing, he is getting so aroused that he cannot control himself and requires to complete the intercourse, or he will feel physical pain because of not emptying his load. Seriously. They basically are convinced that if she starts kissing and touching, then she basically said yes to everything.

No parting kisses on the cheek with Ukrainian girls.

10. The longer you wait to make your move, the easier it will be.

The biggest concern of Kyiv girls is that the guy is ‘not serious’ about her, which means he is not looking for a serious relationship but only wants to use her for sex. This is why they are wary of guys who want to kiss or go for hugs on the first date and consider them ‘sexually concerned’, which means ‘perverts’.

Because the girls and the guys have been playing this dating game step-by-step for so long, everyone in Ukraine, of course, is aware how it works.

The guy asks the girl out, pays the bill, gives her flowers, and if she continues accepting invitations to dates with him and his presents, then she is going to accept his move after a few dates.

How many dates? Possibly, 8, to be safe, by the information I’ve been given by western guys who have been dating women in Kyiv in recent times.

However, many girls feel comfortable to have sex on the first date (Eastern European females are more comfortable with that than western males, actually; we had a survey among members of our website), but only if they are sure that the man is not treating her as a ‘slut’ and simply using her for a one-night stand.

It is not a part of the culture to talk about sex or desire to have an intercourse in Ukraine; it’s supposed to happen naturally, which means, without talking about it.

If you are unsure, maybe try this. When you think she is going to be receptive (i.e. you are laughing together, holding hands, she is not moving away but moves closer when you move closer, you are able to whisper in her year and she is not put off by your closeness, etc.), start kissing her hands and then her hair and the back of her neck. If she is not moving away, try kissing on the lips. If this goes well, push her away and tell her she needs to go or you ‘won’t be able to let her go’ or ‘won’t be able to stop myself’.

Remember? The girls believe that once they started kissing, they need to go all the way, or the man is going to suffer terribly… and it was her that led you on. If she doesn’t use this opportunity to get away, while she can, then she wants this to happen and you are safe to go ahead. This way you are not breaking the social taboo about not talking about sex, and at the same you can feel safe that the desire is mutual.

If you follow the tips, the day will come.

11. Don’t act casual after sex.

Getting intimate is a big deal for a Ukrainian woman and most girls feel like she is now your girlfriend and should behave accordingly. Which means, in local terms, cook and clean for you, take care of you, and be totally forgiving of anything you do or say. She feels she now has to dedicate herself to you.

She also starts feeling unsure, because maybe this is just what you wanted, and now you are not going to call her again. Giving her assurance that she is still desirable and wanted is something she craves at this stage.

Intimacy means a great deal for Ukrainian ladies. She needs your assurance that you are still attracted to her and weren’t just looking for casual sex.

12. Don’t attempt to make her jealous.

Some guys who believe they know how to date western females think they need to make the woman jealous in order to appear more desirable. They start flirting with other girls or put a picture with another woman on the avatar in social networks. This is purely stupid and may kill your chances with the girl you like, because she doesn’t want to fight for you with other females. She wants a man who would be dedicated to her only.

The biggest fear of Ukrainian women is that the guy is going to use her and dump her, and by demonstrating her photos of you with other women you make her feel more insecure, and he is already lacking confidence. Maybe it works with western girls (I doubt it does), but with females from Kyiv it definitely makes things worse. She doesn’t trust you if you make her jealous and just wants out of the whole thing.

Don’t attempt to make the woman you like jealous by flirting with other girls, or may ruin your chances with her completely.

13. Text her a lot.

If you are used to limiting your contacts when dating western girls, Kyiv women love a man who chases them and sends lots of texts and messages. At least wish her good morning and night, no matter what time zone you are in. Tell her you miss her and some nice compliments.

Text her a lot, Kyiv girls love it.

14. Give presents.

Gifts are an essential part of the Slavic culture, including the dating culture. Because people still don’t have everything in Ukraine and live very modestly, they appreciate ‘little tokens of affection’, which could be chocolates, wine, sweets, little trinkets, or inexpensive jewelry.

Obviously, you are giving the presents out of your own will and desire, and not asked for them by the woman (which would be a red flag).

Gifts, presents, and flowers in the Ukrainian dating culture are part of the ‘period of candies and bouquets’, which is rather short. But don’t give presents if you are asked for gifts.

15. Say ‘No’ if you don’t like it.

Never agree to do something if you don’t like it, just because you are scared to lose the woman. For instance, if the woman wants to try something on in a shop, it’s highly likely you will be asked to pay for it and you may feel uncomfortable, not knowing how to handle the situation.

If you are not giving gifts to the woman you are dating, it may be her way of trying to make you ‘invest’ in the relationship to make it properly ‘serious’, where gifts are a required part of the courting ritual.

But if you’ve been giving her some small little gifts and flowers, then she has no need to prove your interest in your relationship to herself or her family and friends, who may be asking questions and giving her advice (yes, women in Ukraine always ask for a relationship advice from family, friends, or even strangers on the Internet).

Then, if she asks for a present in such a way, by putting you on the spot in a store, it’s either a deep insecurity (‘I need to get something now, because it may not last’) or she is a user and that’s her usual way of conducting relationships with men.

This is what you can do if a woman asks you to buy something in a store for the first time (pick one of the responses, not all at once):

• Look her in the eye and kindly ask if she requests all men she is dating to buy her things.
• Ask her what is her wage and how many days she’d have to work to buy it for herself.
• Say ‘No’ and tell her you you’d wait for her outside the store.
• Say, ‘Here we go’ and tell her to find you in the coffee shop by the exit.

After that, you’ll have to address this issue immediately. You cannot leave it for later.

Tell her you really like her and you think she is a smart and decent woman. Tell her that requests to purchase things make you feel uncomfortable. Tell her you enjoy making her happy and seeing her smile. Tell her that you will understand if she doesn’t want to see you again and if all she wanted from you was to get something, then you feel sad, because you really have feelings for her. Then let her speak.

If you are happy with what you hear, then simply say, ‘OK, let’s go have something to eat,” and never bring it up again. It should not happen again.

If you don’t like something, simply say, ‘No’.

16. Don’t make fake excuses.

• Never make lame excuses why do not wish to pay when you are asked, such as:
• I don’t have enough credit card limit on the card to pay for that.
• I forgot my wallet.
• My card is in the hotel.
• Etc.

By making an excuse, you basically have agreed to pay for the item. Then the woman may simply suggest to draw money over several days or go to the hotel to pick the wallet right now. If you are faced with a shopping request, you have to act immediately, or your relationship is screwed forever.

Don’t think that you will just pay for the first item, not a big deal, and that’s all. After the first request there will be another one, and another one, and the amounts are going to increase. Your girlfriend may have been coached by friends ‘how to get something’ from foreign men who visit Ukraine with a view of finding a partner, or, as I said before, she may the a professional user (aka ‘gold digger’). You have to nip it in the bud and this way you will have a chance to save this relationship. If you start buying things on request, you are on a slippery slope and seen as an insecure man who can be taken advantage of.

Absolutely, no purchases of goods on request. Not on her own request, not on suggestion of someone she knows (family member, friend). Remember it as the most basic rule of dating in Ukraine.

Save the words from tip #16 somewhere on your phone in Notes or memorise, so that you can quickly attend to the matter if it pops up. That’s way better than lame excuses.

If you don’t want to be seen as a loser, don’t make lame excuses.

17. Take her for a trip.

If you want to make your relationship closer or stronger, or if you are unsure how to move to intimacy from not having even a parting kiss, then take her for a trip. You can take a train and go to Odessa or Lviv, which are beautiful cities to visit and stay there for a couple of nights. Or you may book a trip to Carpathian mountains, which are gorgeous.

If you haven’t been intimate yet, book a flat with two rooms or two rooms in a hotel, otherwise it’s going to be awkward. Then a quiet dinner in your room with a bottle of champagne after a day of excursions will make sense and she probably will be ready to take it to the next level (otherwise she simply wouldn’t go for the trip).

If you have already been intimate, this will give you the opportunity to spend whole days together, just the two of you, which is beautiful. It also allows you to get to know the person better, as there are always things go wrong when people travel and it’s easy to see any potential flaws of character you haven’t discovered.

Take your girlfriend for a trip away to cement your relationship.

18. Do some silly romantic things.

Couple’s massage, a rose petal bath, dinner or breakfast room service in bed, a song in a restaurant dedicated just to her (great if you can sing with the band; most restaurants in Ukraine have a live band singing covers, including western hits; you are required to pay some money to the singers to do it for you; that’s how they supplement the little money they get to be singing there) — things like that are priceless tokens of attention for a woman.

Because Ukrainian girls all crave having a partner, since single women have little social value, local guys don’t need to be attentive or nice to women; Yes, they pay the bill in a restaurant, but as they joke themselves, ‘Good manners say you have to pay the bill, but you are allowed to make an unhappy face while doing that,’ — in other words, as a female in Ukraine she probably never experienced being with a man who really wants to make her happy.

Ukrainian guys need to do very little to get the girl, so they do the bare minimum required. Your going the extra mile is definitely going to be appreciated.

Include some small romantic gestures like breakfast in bed.

19. Date good girls.

Maybe we should have started with this tip, but I decided to save the best for last. You are reading these tips in English, so I assume you are not Ukrainian. If you are already visiting Kyiv and were simply amazed at how pretty and friendly local girls are and decided to ask one of them out, great.

So, there are about 22 million females (vs. 19 million males) in Ukraine, and only 30-40 thousand of them are employed in the PPL industry, about 1 in 1000. So, there are 999 good girls from 1,000 females. Your odds are pretty good.